Experiences of a Middle-Aged Woman, the Cal Poly Dolly Diaries—Snapshot of the past 10 years: 2007– Welcome to the disorienting world that is college, middle-aged female chapter * 2010– Welcome to Grad School, meet Chronic Fatigue * 2013– Welcome to the World of Mental Health, we’re all mad * 2016– Knock knock, it’s me, your life, drop EVERYTHING * 2017– The slow climb back up from a Burnout ** THEME: Provide “capsule versions” of complex psychological concepts for busy students. Dig in!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Does worry really cause warts...? ...Or just ulcers??
Since I have remained silent thus far about the economic crisis, I thought that the prompting of the new Mad Magazine would give me a good excuse to bring it up. After all, who are we kidding here? People who thought that buying a home was the American Dream ("people" such as myself) are now coming to the realization that it may be just the opposite: the American Nightmare.
Having had the fortuitousness to be able to live vicariously through home owners and stock holders, I have come to appreciate my education, friends, and children that much more (and not necessarily in that particular order either). People don't go away when money disappears -- unless it's your portfolio manager. Children don't suddenly turn evil when the usual "Saturday Night Out" is replaced by an economically feasible "Saturday Night In". Love has no measurable monetary cost.
Which brings me to the point of this post. Worry has a monetary cost, in the form of medical bills. According to the theory of Somatic Experience, when one encounters stressful events that they allow to build up in their body instead of experiencing, processing and developing a solution for, the effects of the pent up stress cause physical manifestations of illness to appear in the body. Somatic Therapy is the process by which the person learns to stay in the moment, present in their own body, feeling the sensations of the experience and allowing the feelings to process and find a natural resolution. This allows healing on a holistic level (body, mind and spirit). Read about Somatic Therapy here.
I hope that the current money situation in your life allows you to get closer to what is truly important in the grand scheme of life: the intangible, human experience through love in the form of people and passion for life.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Come on over to my lemonade stand...
Well, it's been over two months since I've blogged, and for good reason. I've had a close family member and another close friend both pass away within that time, and meanwhile have been trying to find the state of mind to carry on day-to-day activities without losing my... well, you know. Grief is a strange process. To say that there are only five stages of grief wouldn't be doing it justice.
Grief ebbs and flows; it's not meant to be forced, nor is it meant to be swallowed. The sadness one experiences can be buffered by a close family or friend network, lots of personal space to process and feel feelings, and proper self-care techniques (as has been mentioned in my blog before). But the coddling and caring for the grief itself is not to be understated. Sadness and loss are two feelings all humans are familiar with, yet do not welcome near their front door. It is perhaps the acceptance of, and allowance for the presence of these emotions that allows us to heal. I welcome my grief. It is my chance to perseverate on the feelings I have for the individuals I lost and the gratitude I hold for the absence of pain in their lives.
A friend shed a new light on me regarding this subject today. She explained that perhaps we don't need to get mired down in the process of grieving and, on the contrary, celebrate what the person meant and still means to us today. Simple, yet it works. This has given me the personal power to recommit to my daily living tasks, feel a little more in control of my world, and step out in faith to keep challenging my fears and taking risks to create positive change in my life.
My hats off to the author of "Turning Lemons into Lemonade: Hardiness Helps People
Turn Stressful Circumstances into Opportunities" on psychologymatters.org. Commitment, control, and challenge are the keys to finding oneself with a pitcher full of glorious lemonade, instead of a bucket of lemons. Which would you rather have? Check out the article by clicking on the title to this blog entry. It's worth a shot.