So, I made it through my first quarter of grad school! I'm so excited, I almost forgot how to spell...
I'd really like to make some improvements to my blog, and I've noticed of late some blogs out there that are pretty appealing, and made with Blogger to boot! If anyone out there has suggestions for how to alter mine, that'd be great...so, now I'm gonna get back to the topic of school.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
I am a Non-Moving Object. Hear me... do nothing.
Harken unto the following definitions of "procrastination":
| Noun | 1. | procrastination - the act of procrastinating; putting off or delaying or deferring an action to a later time |
Now, THAT sounds harmless, but I like this one even better:
"procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday" [Don Marquis]
So, what's all this about, you ask? Simple. I'm procrastinating. Of course, in order to do this, I have to have something I'm supposed to be doing instead of what I'm actually doing, which I do: homework. I am the queen of Procrastinationville. The editor-at-large of "Procrastination Weekly." The president of Doing-it-later-nation. I speak Procrastinese. I mop with a... okay, you get the point. I could go on, but I have homework to procrastinate on! Skeedaddle, y'all! Sunday, December 5, 2010
The Experiential Experience of a Lifetime
I really can't complain -- or, at least, I won't. It's the Sunday night before Finals week and I'm studying so much that my brain actually wants to go to sleep without my permission. I might let it. And this just might be the shortest blog entry ever. I think I'll find some statistics regarding insanity's correlation to Finals week at colleges and universities...be right back...
Okay, so when I plugged in the search query "college students stress intervention" the following categories of articles came up: Coping behaviors (13), Post-traumatic Stress (12), Alcohol (11), and Meditation (8), with various subcategories coming up when I filtered for the Meditation category. Within the meditation category, I found an article by Sharon Sears (I like her research) on "I Think Therefore I Om: Cognitive Distortions and Coping Style as Mediators for the Effects of Mindfulness Meditation on Anxiety, Positive and Negative Affect, and Hope." Yeah. That *was* a mouthful.
So, since I'm a student of psychology, I'll wrap up the details of her research in a tidy little package so my readers can easily digest the information: Out of three types of meditation (brief focused on loving kindness, brief focused on one's own attention, and longer duration focused on both loving kindness and one's own attention), the lengthy meditation served to "significantly reduce anxiety and negative affect and increase hope." (Sears, 2006)
This is interesting to me on two levels: First, it takes a well-designed research experiment with enough subjects to deliver a sound result in order to get a *significant* result; second, it impresses me that a college student would study the topic of meditation and its correlation with stress. The reason for my shock and awe is that the general public, and many college students as well, think of meditation as an accessory to life, an option. I have felt for some time now that meditation should be practiced by anyone who wants to benefit from its stress-reducing properties and/or become more mindful of what one is doing in the present.
I, for one, like either of the two results. I think that the practice of mindfulness allows one to fully experience living his or her life "in the moment," and thereby reduces the need to review experiences (as we do: "Aw, I shouldn't have done/said that.") later on in the day. At the very least, mindfulness allows us to stop watching the clock, or at least, be mindful while we're doing it. ;-)
Okay, so when I plugged in the search query "college students stress intervention" the following categories of articles came up: Coping behaviors (13), Post-traumatic Stress (12), Alcohol (11), and Meditation (8), with various subcategories coming up when I filtered for the Meditation category. Within the meditation category, I found an article by Sharon Sears (I like her research) on "I Think Therefore I Om: Cognitive Distortions and Coping Style as Mediators for the Effects of Mindfulness Meditation on Anxiety, Positive and Negative Affect, and Hope." Yeah. That *was* a mouthful.
So, since I'm a student of psychology, I'll wrap up the details of her research in a tidy little package so my readers can easily digest the information: Out of three types of meditation (brief focused on loving kindness, brief focused on one's own attention, and longer duration focused on both loving kindness and one's own attention), the lengthy meditation served to "significantly reduce anxiety and negative affect and increase hope." (Sears, 2006)
This is interesting to me on two levels: First, it takes a well-designed research experiment with enough subjects to deliver a sound result in order to get a *significant* result; second, it impresses me that a college student would study the topic of meditation and its correlation with stress. The reason for my shock and awe is that the general public, and many college students as well, think of meditation as an accessory to life, an option. I have felt for some time now that meditation should be practiced by anyone who wants to benefit from its stress-reducing properties and/or become more mindful of what one is doing in the present.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Dead week? Where?
Dead week is, for reasons that remain unclear to me, the week before finals. They call it dead week because it's *supposed* to be the week where the campus remains free of most students who normally attend classes. That's NOT how it works here at CPSLO. In fact, the computer lab is packed with students. I can only imagine that their instructors did the same as mine and assigned papers and such to be due the week before finals.
I myself have not one, but TWO 12-page-or-so-give-or-take-5000-pages papers due this week; one is due on Thursday and the other is due on Friday... speaking of that, a computer just opened up in the lab. Gotta go!
I myself have not one, but TWO 12-page-or-so-give-or-take-5000-pages papers due this week; one is due on Thursday and the other is due on Friday... speaking of that, a computer just opened up in the lab. Gotta go!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Empathy means everything...
Click on the blog title and you'll see what I mean. The mayo clinic actually has a doctor who's "seen the light" as a result of writing his blog--apparently, all the comments from people who suffer from depression got through to him when he opened himself up to them. I say this because after nearly 10 years of being in the mental health treatment system, I just recently encountered my first doctor who took the time to say "This must be really hard for you."
Don't get me wrong -- being bipolar, recovering from addiction, and having been a victim of both childhood abuse and domestic violence has made me very grateful that I'm even able to get out of bed, much less be a candidate for graduate school. I'm aware that I'm not the only one who's gone through these things either. Also, I've had medical professionals involved in my treatment in the past who have taken the time to congratulate me on my "high functioning" (another term for fighting like hell every day). But I can't even put into words the meaning of having one medical professional, just ONE, getting down to my very human level to let me know that he knows it's difficult to go through what I go through every day just to get out of bed.
Unfortunately, I'm one of the people for whom medication has cut the edge, but not removed the symptoms. I still deal with anxiety, especially social anxiety. I also have difficulty concentrating (on a major level...what was I talking about? just kidding). I see my world in shades of gray rather than color -- if you're clinically depressed, then you'll know what I mean. I'm irritable to a fault. Thank goodness for understanding family and friends!
I also do not expect medication to be my "cure all." I get out in the world and interact with others, even when my paranoia's screaming that they're out to get me. I chat up the clerk at the store in order to get practice conversing with others on days when I've holed up in my home. I call people when I don't want to (that's a big one for recovering addicts, according to my field research).
And I keep trying. I talk to my doctors and I'm open to medication changes even when I'm convinced this "new one" can't possibly make more of a difference than the 27 (yes, really) medications I've already tried. I have side effects that are all but expected at this point. I'm sensitive to medication and stress. But I keep trying. And that's the point.
Read the article attached to the blog title. Maybe you'll get inspired. Then, start talking about it. There's no point to suffering in pain. My heart goes out to all those who suffer with depression and other disorders.
Don't get me wrong -- being bipolar, recovering from addiction, and having been a victim of both childhood abuse and domestic violence has made me very grateful that I'm even able to get out of bed, much less be a candidate for graduate school. I'm aware that I'm not the only one who's gone through these things either. Also, I've had medical professionals involved in my treatment in the past who have taken the time to congratulate me on my "high functioning" (another term for fighting like hell every day). But I can't even put into words the meaning of having one medical professional, just ONE, getting down to my very human level to let me know that he knows it's difficult to go through what I go through every day just to get out of bed.
Unfortunately, I'm one of the people for whom medication has cut the edge, but not removed the symptoms. I still deal with anxiety, especially social anxiety. I also have difficulty concentrating (on a major level...what was I talking about? just kidding). I see my world in shades of gray rather than color -- if you're clinically depressed, then you'll know what I mean. I'm irritable to a fault. Thank goodness for understanding family and friends!
I also do not expect medication to be my "cure all." I get out in the world and interact with others, even when my paranoia's screaming that they're out to get me. I chat up the clerk at the store in order to get practice conversing with others on days when I've holed up in my home. I call people when I don't want to (that's a big one for recovering addicts, according to my field research).
And I keep trying. I talk to my doctors and I'm open to medication changes even when I'm convinced this "new one" can't possibly make more of a difference than the 27 (yes, really) medications I've already tried. I have side effects that are all but expected at this point. I'm sensitive to medication and stress. But I keep trying. And that's the point.
Read the article attached to the blog title. Maybe you'll get inspired. Then, start talking about it. There's no point to suffering in pain. My heart goes out to all those who suffer with depression and other disorders.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Hmmm...I guess if I want to have a blog, I have to be human, too...
So, I've been thinking for some time now (okay, years) that I should perhaps let the general public into my inner world -- meaning, that I should start writing off-the-cuff. After all, I'm trying to get across to you all that this is a real human being typing this stuff. I figure, for my writing to be applicable to anyone who's trying to go to school and raise kids both, and for it to be inspiring enough for the disabled, I should perhaps get into more of my struggles than my seemingly "normal" peers have going on in their lives. This is real life here, folks.
Getting out of bed in the morning, for me, is hard -- and I mean, EVERY DAY. I wake up and I'm exhausted and this is a regular occurrence. It occurred to me today, however, after reading an exceptionally forward status update (on FB, you guessed? 2 points! You're right!) that my exhaustion is not me being abnormal. I'm sure it's a remnant of the depression whose butt wasn't proverbially kicked by medication. Unfortunately, in my quest to fine tune this medication thing, I ran across Abilify.
Diagnosis? Bipolar Disorder, NOS. I also have Chronic Depression, Generalized Anxiety, and PTSD along with Bulimia in partial remission, but the main focus of my medication-go-round is my Bipolar Disorder. I present with anxiety and irritability in place of mania -- and whoa, Nelly, you better watch out for that irritability on some days because I even irritate myself. But Abilify and me aren't such great friends after all. In fact, this Abilify thing is driving me nuts. To be more specific:
I started on 2mg and almost immediately noticed a weight difference. I actually thought I was pregnant at one point. I went off of it for 2 weeks to see if the weight gain would reverse itself and *thought* I lost weight (but according to Dr. office scale, it was sadly not the case) -- I went back on the Abilify at the1mg level for 2 weeks, then just upped the dose to 2mg again last Friday. I can't hardly fit into my formerly loose pants (formerly, meaning a month and a half ago). I'm going crazy over this. I'm thinking about going off of it again. So, I start posting things like "Medication with weight-gain-side-effects should be made illegal" and "Drug companies should foot the bill, at the very least, for new clothes" but aside from the tongue-in-cheek humor, I'm really getting anxious and depressed over the weight gain, and quite perturbed as well! Since these are the symptoms that the medication I'm on is supposed to address, I call it a push. What do you think?
Getting out of bed in the morning, for me, is hard -- and I mean, EVERY DAY. I wake up and I'm exhausted and this is a regular occurrence. It occurred to me today, however, after reading an exceptionally forward status update (on FB, you guessed? 2 points! You're right!) that my exhaustion is not me being abnormal. I'm sure it's a remnant of the depression whose butt wasn't proverbially kicked by medication. Unfortunately, in my quest to fine tune this medication thing, I ran across Abilify.
Diagnosis? Bipolar Disorder, NOS. I also have Chronic Depression, Generalized Anxiety, and PTSD along with Bulimia in partial remission, but the main focus of my medication-go-round is my Bipolar Disorder. I present with anxiety and irritability in place of mania -- and whoa, Nelly, you better watch out for that irritability on some days because I even irritate myself. But Abilify and me aren't such great friends after all. In fact, this Abilify thing is driving me nuts. To be more specific:
I started on 2mg and almost immediately noticed a weight difference. I actually thought I was pregnant at one point. I went off of it for 2 weeks to see if the weight gain would reverse itself and *thought* I lost weight (but according to Dr. office scale, it was sadly not the case) -- I went back on the Abilify at the1mg level for 2 weeks, then just upped the dose to 2mg again last Friday. I can't hardly fit into my formerly loose pants (formerly, meaning a month and a half ago). I'm going crazy over this. I'm thinking about going off of it again. So, I start posting things like "Medication with weight-gain-side-effects should be made illegal" and "Drug companies should foot the bill, at the very least, for new clothes" but aside from the tongue-in-cheek humor, I'm really getting anxious and depressed over the weight gain, and quite perturbed as well! Since these are the symptoms that the medication I'm on is supposed to address, I call it a push. What do you think?
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Distracted, much?
To say that the 4th of July threw me off track is a complete understatement. Watching "Julie & Julia" has reminded me of the importance of my blog, no matter who is (or is not) reading it. After all, the internet immortalizes the least of us, and my goal is to leave in my wake links to the plethora resources that have enabled me to succeed in school.
Did I ever mention that I got into grad school? I'm still blown away, so forgive me if I have. Besides being off school and using it as time to research new and valuable resources and scholarships, I have been full-time single parent, whittling away at the month-plus days left of the summer. I just do my best to entertain. :-)
Not only that, but also the getting readiness of the upcoming quarter has been under way. I simply could not find the best desk for me after countless fruitless hours searching for one on the internet. Thus, my significant other has done his best to make my ideas for my very own custom-made desk come to fruition. God bless his creative little soul.
Anyways, my goal of "One scholarship each day for Monday through Friday of each week" has failed miserably. But the scholarships I have researched thus far are posted on here. And, when I get back on track, you will be the first to know. Have a great day!
Did I ever mention that I got into grad school? I'm still blown away, so forgive me if I have. Besides being off school and using it as time to research new and valuable resources and scholarships, I have been full-time single parent, whittling away at the month-plus days left of the summer. I just do my best to entertain. :-)
Not only that, but also the getting readiness of the upcoming quarter has been under way. I simply could not find the best desk for me after countless fruitless hours searching for one on the internet. Thus, my significant other has done his best to make my ideas for my very own custom-made desk come to fruition. God bless his creative little soul.
Anyways, my goal of "One scholarship each day for Monday through Friday of each week" has failed miserably. But the scholarships I have researched thus far are posted on here. And, when I get back on track, you will be the first to know. Have a great day!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
It's a Scholarship Search Saturday!
Since I didn't get time enough away from my housesitting, parenting and significant-othering duties to actually post yesterday, I'm making up for it today.
I decided to take my housesitting duties and turn it into a "staycation" of sorts (about.com has great ideas on how to do this yourself). I'm simply pretending that I'm far enoug away from home to warrant down-time and the weekend helps me do this as well. When the house phone rings, I don't become attached to answering it because it's not even my phone! Nifty.
Anyways, the point of this post is to give you another scholarship lead. This one is for those dedicated to volunteerism in their communities. Who has time for this? You'd be surprised at how your selfless efforts boost the morale of more people than the act was originally aimed at.
Try: http://www.altrusa.com and check for scholarships at the national level, or use their chapter "search" tool to find a local chapter in your area.
Now to go dip my feet in the pool! Have a Happy 4th of July!
-- Sent from my Palm Pre
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Another Post?!? In the same day?!! You got it, scholarship hunters!
http://www.collegeanswer.com/paying/content/pay_scholarship.jsp
The above link goes straight to scholarship tips, techniques and information useful to the college student. However, if you need more generalized college information, go to the main website: http://www.collegeanswer.com
Hello New Scholarships!
After winning a $5000 scholarship (WET scholarship for mental health professionals; search Google.com for the scholarship details), I decided to purchase "1001 Ways to Pay for College" by Gen and Kelly Tanabe (order via amazon.com -- I got mine for about twelve bucks!).
In this amazing resource was a website for scholarships and loan forgiveness programs for people in the health professions.
So, my new goal is to research at least one scholarship/loan forgiveness program, etc. per day (Monday-Friday) and I'll post some of the results here on my blog.
Then, it occurred to me that since I am a non-traditional student, and that there are others of us out there trying to get through school and take care of "non-traditional student duties," that I would post resources to help all of us succeed with those duties.
Here's my "website for the day" for scholarships. It contains links for loan forgiveness programs as well as scholarships for health professions (this includes mental health and nursing):
http://www.oshpd.state.ca.us/HPEF/Schlrshp.html
My significant other is trying to help his mother (who has dementia and emphysema) get sufficient care so that he can continue to go to school and work. This, I have discovered, is not an easy task. I am a community resource hound, so I dug up this next website from a free local paper. You should do the same, but here's the one I found for my area:
"Central Coast Commission for Senior Citizens offers free services: Senior Connection - connecting callers with local resources; HICAP (Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program): one-on-one assistance for Medicare beneficiaries, consider long-term care options, and help with billing/appeal problems; Vial of LIfe - a magnetized container for the refrigerator with medical information; a Senior Resource Directory for San Luis Obispo or Santa Barbara county (ask for a referral to your county) - and more. For information ..., call (805)925-9554 or visit www.centralcoastseniors.org "
In this amazing resource was a website for scholarships and loan forgiveness programs for people in the health professions.
So, my new goal is to research at least one scholarship/loan forgiveness program, etc. per day (Monday-Friday) and I'll post some of the results here on my blog.
Then, it occurred to me that since I am a non-traditional student, and that there are others of us out there trying to get through school and take care of "non-traditional student duties," that I would post resources to help all of us succeed with those duties.
Here's my "website for the day" for scholarships. It contains links for loan forgiveness programs as well as scholarships for health professions (this includes mental health and nursing):
http://www.oshpd.state.ca.us/HPEF/Schlrshp.html
My significant other is trying to help his mother (who has dementia and emphysema) get sufficient care so that he can continue to go to school and work. This, I have discovered, is not an easy task. I am a community resource hound, so I dug up this next website from a free local paper. You should do the same, but here's the one I found for my area:
"Central Coast Commission for Senior Citizens offers free services: Senior Connection - connecting callers with local resources; HICAP (Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program): one-on-one assistance for Medicare beneficiaries, consider long-term care options, and help with billing/appeal problems; Vial of LIfe - a magnetized container for the refrigerator with medical information; a Senior Resource Directory for San Luis Obispo or Santa Barbara county (ask for a referral to your county) - and more. For information ..., call (805)925-9554 or visit www.centralcoastseniors.org "
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
At least I'm consistent
Just realized after clicking on my own link to the wedding dance I posted last, that I haven't posted anything on here since the end of last quarter. Good time to update, eh?
It's the end of my final quarter of my Bachelor's Degree program at the highest ranked California State University (CSU) in the state. I haven't allowed it to set in, since I just finished my Senior Project on "Resilience Factors of Single Parent Undergraduate University Students" last week (with an A-, thank-you-very-much!) and two papers down this week already, with a two-final stretch toward the home plate. In other words, I'm not counting my breaths, or holding my chickens, just yet. Just wanted to express my gratitude for the support I've received thus far and will hopefully continue to receive from here forward.
So, where to go from here? Well, this past Friday, I interviewed for the Masters of Psychology program at the same university and have high hopes of getting in. But... you know, the chickens and breaths thing again. ;-)
I hope to volunteer locally, and desire to work with children directly. Any suggestions are appreciated. But, if you don't feel like having your comment moderated, I have some leads to go on. I at least hope *someone* has read and gotten something positive out of my college experience --> oh yeah! And I'm gonna have to change my Blog Description because I'll no longer be an undergrad! WOW! Good grief, how time flies... and my oldest will be picking up her high school diploma the same month I'll be getting my Bachelor's Degree diploma. I love my life.
It's the end of my final quarter of my Bachelor's Degree program at the highest ranked California State University (CSU) in the state. I haven't allowed it to set in, since I just finished my Senior Project on "Resilience Factors of Single Parent Undergraduate University Students" last week (with an A-, thank-you-very-much!) and two papers down this week already, with a two-final stretch toward the home plate. In other words, I'm not counting my breaths, or holding my chickens, just yet. Just wanted to express my gratitude for the support I've received thus far and will hopefully continue to receive from here forward.
So, where to go from here? Well, this past Friday, I interviewed for the Masters of Psychology program at the same university and have high hopes of getting in. But... you know, the chickens and breaths thing again. ;-)
I hope to volunteer locally, and desire to work with children directly. Any suggestions are appreciated. But, if you don't feel like having your comment moderated, I have some leads to go on. I at least hope *someone* has read and gotten something positive out of my college experience --> oh yeah! And I'm gonna have to change my Blog Description because I'll no longer be an undergrad! WOW! Good grief, how time flies... and my oldest will be picking up her high school diploma the same month I'll be getting my Bachelor's Degree diploma. I love my life.
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