What Depression Looks Like.

I've written before in this blog about different issues and ailments that a certain percentage of the population has to contend with. Depression is just one of these issues. Sometimes, though, it's hard to spot. Here's a list of the most common symptoms, followed by a list of not-so-commonly known ones:

Common Depression Symptoms:

• fatigue and decreased energy
• feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• overeating or appetite loss
• persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

Not-so-Commonly Known Symptoms:

• difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• irritability, restlessness
• persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment                               http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression

This last symptoms is one that took even me by surprise (as I have personal knowledge of what depression looks like, in all it's ill-fated glory). The idea that a psychological ailment can manifest itself as pain in the body is something that I've intuitively known for years. I've been a casual student of the school of thought that we cannot escape negative cognitions. Our thoughts do not go away simply because we ignore them. But to think that they can show back up in our body is amazing and a little off-putting at the same time.

The main point I'm trying to get across here is this: Depression is a real thing. If you or someone who is close to you is dealing with the above symptoms, it would behoove you to get him/her/yourself a doctor's appointment and a referral to a mental health professional. The hype and stigma surrounding mental illness is a tragedy, but no one should let it become their own personal tragedy. Help is available. There are plenty of medications and types of therapy that can and do treat depression symptoms. Getting out of bed and doing normal every day tasks shouldn't be difficult -- take advantage of the help that is attainable to us. You're worth it.

It's easier to keep smoking than we thought...

Once upon a time, there was an ex-smoker. He went to a movie. He saw someone smoke. He smoked. The end.

Well, not really. I heard of a study done many years ago that said that if you go to a movie and sit and watch the entire thing (not including potty breaks, of course) that your brain is actually tricked into thinking that you're actually there with the actors, in the same situation.

Ever wonder why you come out of a movie sad (if it's a drama), on edge (if it's an action film), angry (if there's a lot of violence), or giddy (if it's a comedy)??? This is why. So, it's no surprise to me that the following study showed that smokers who see other smokers smoke, even in a film, will be more likely to light up the next time. [Click on the blog title for the whole article]

It doesn't seem fair, but there's been a study done on it. Here's an excerpt:

In this study, researchers led by senior investigator Todd Heatherton, PhD, and graduate student Dylan Wagner of Dartmouth College set out to determine whether the parts of the brain that control that routine gesture could be triggered by simply seeing someone else smoke. The authors found that seeing this familiar action -- even when embedded in a Hollywood movie -- evoked the same brain responses as planning to actually make that movement. These results may provide additional insight for people trying to overcome nicotine addiction, a condition that leads to one in five U.S. deaths each year.

 Think about it next time you follow someone outside to chat and they light up a cigarette. I'm not sure what the implications are for non-smokers, but beware. It's an interesting, yet scary, phenomenon. 

Cognitive differences between men and women

Just in case you were wondering, men are from another planet. Just kidding. We do think differently, however. Click on the post title and you'll discover what I did:

• Men tend to be better at things like mathmatics 
• Women tend to be better at things like language.

So, women: When someone tells you that women talk too much, tell them it's the way we're wired -- literally. There's a deficit in word-usage between men and women of several thousand words. See this article on "Sex Linked Lexical Budgets." It talks about how women use 20,000 words a day, while men use 7,000. You do the math. Given this information, it's no wonder why men think women talk too much, but just remember: We're wired that way.

How to catch a Drunk Driver - 2011 edition

A new device is able to detect alcohol through a person's skin. This is the newest alcohol-detecting device since the breathalyzer, which is now being referred to as "messy." I call it the temporal-swipe-thermometer-version of a breathalyzer. They call it spectroscopy, or the "TruTouch 1100." I like my term better.
Science Daily:

'Save your breath, a new tool for testing suspected drunk drivers will have cops asking, ”Stick out your arm.”'

TruTouch 1100 spectroscope

This is the latest in technology as reported by Science Daily, a site devoted to research, technology and education as it relates to science. I've visited this site on a number of occasions, mostly when I'm topped-off with information for my regular studies and I need a break and something interesting to read. Here's a link to the article: http://www.sciencedaily.com/videos/2007/1105-new_booze_busting_device.htm It also has an interesting video...

The article explains that there's at least 17,500 drunk driving-related deaths each year. I've got a friend I've known since just after high school who was one of two survivors in a car she was a passenger in with a drunk driver. She limps to this day. She was lucky. Maybe this new device will help more people. We can only hope.

Electronics and the Disabled Student

The Livescribe Echo Smartpen 

I wanted to share with you the electronic "assistants", so to speak, that I'm using this quarter to help me through school. I've got to say, this is the most organized and productive quarter I've had so far. Here's what I'm using and what I'm using the item for:

• Livescribe Echo Smartpen 
• records lectures in real-time and syncs them to the place you touch in your handwritten notes
• Sansa Fuze + MP3 player 
• I use it to play audiobooks, which I got from RFB&D -- "Reading for the Blind and Dyslexic" site
• Asus EEE PC 1000HA (a netbook that weighs under 3 pounds)
• used for notes, papers and correspondence with instructors online -- light enough to put in a large purse

With the above tools, I can come home and plug my Live Scribe pen into my computer, watch my notes pop up on the screen and click in any area to hear what the prof. was saying at that point in the lecture. Then I can pop my headphones in and listen to any textbook I have on the Sansa  -- that way my lack of concentration doesn't get the best of me. The computer is small enough to take anywhere, so I can work on a research paper at home or even while waiting in the doctor's office. NEAT-O!

I can honestly say that I am grateful to be a disabled student in this day and age. The electronics that have been developed in just the past 20 years are amazing! I remember, as a sixth grader, sitting at a *clunky* desktop computer and being taught how to write MS-DOS -- wow. I thought it was a cool thing to make patterns across the screen by writing a particular line of code. What we can do today, even playing around, is much more than we ever dreamed of back then. I'm truly amazed. [Click blog title for link to Livescribe]

When the going gets tough, the tough go.... shopping.

Me and my friends refer to shopping as "retail therapy" when it's taking the place of other personal coping techniques. This is because we tend to shop when we're feeling angry, confused, out-of-sorts, or...well...just plain bored. I like shopping during these occasions because it takes me away from the following:

• Rude people (if shopping online)
• Mundane house chores
• Homework
• Stress
• Boredom

and it also makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something! I'm aware that this sounds trite and superficial, but I think we all need to lapse into a state of semi-consciousness for brief periods of time every once in a while.

For instance: If I'm irritated at my (fill in the blank) and I decide it's more in my head than it is in "blank's" behavior, I'll oftentimes decide not to say anything about it. To anyone.

C'mon now -- haven't we all had a bad day and we know it's "just us"?? Shopping is perfect for this occasion! I can pick an item (or three -- to up my chances of finding at least one) to buy at the store and when I find it -- hooray! -- I've succeeded at something and my mood goes north. Try it sometime. I bet the marketing geniuses out there will love you for it.

One step at a time, literally and figuratively. Pedometers, progress, and life goals...

I found an interesting article on exercising with pedometers on sparkpeople.com, and realized it can be applied to more than just exercise. Here's the text of the article:

"Researchers from the University of Tennessee asked overweight women to clip on pedometers to track their steps. They divided these women into two groups. One group was told to aim for 10,000 steps a day (the common recommendation considered to be "active"), while the second group was told simply to walk briskly for 30 minutes, most days of the week (a common--but minimum--fitness recommendation). The study found that the step counters averaged over 10,000 steps daily, while the minute counters averaged between 8,270 to 9,505 steps on the days the DID meet their 30-minute goals, and merely 5,597 steps on the days they didn't exercise for 30 minutes. The researchers conclude that setting your goals in steps (rather than minutes) may be the best way to increase your overall activity."

This applies to life as well. If we're concentrating on just "taking up time," we tend to do little to expand our horizons. If we concentrate on just taking one step forward, our actions tend to have more meaning. Missing the "forest for the trees" is a common mistake people make when focusing on moving forward. Instead of just knowing that their actions count, as long as they put effort into it, they get caught up in the details and see minor setbacks as failures rather than what they are: mistakes. Hopefully, you'll try this one step forward idea out and you'll see that it's the action of moving forward that matters the most.

What does a stalker look like?

My experience:
A recent email I received from a former abuser prompted me to do some research. You see, this person wouldn't leave me alone and continued to violate my personal boundaries and my home until I called the authorities and they were able to deal with the situation themselves. This resolved the issue over a prolonged period, but sadly this is not always the case. Most women who call the police instead of ignoring the stalker and finding other ways to protect themselves (a la "The Gift of Fear" author's suggestions) end up dead.

"The stalker may attempt to woo their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy and love letters, in an attempt to "prove their love." However, when the victim spurns their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation." -- University of Tennessee at Chattanooga 
*[Click on the title for the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga's website]


Descriptive Statistics:
This prompted me to look up some information on what the common thread is among these people. I wish there was a more p.c. or a more descriptive name to call these people, as "stalker" just isn't heinous enough for me. The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga apparently has a Stalking Resource Center, something every community could benefit from. Following are some common traits among stalkers:
"Stalkers in this class [Simple Obsession} are characterized as individuals who are:

• Socially maladjusted and inept
• Emotionally immature
• Often subject to feelings of powerlessness
• Unable to succeed in relationships by socially-acceptable means
• Jealous, bordering on paranoid
• Extremely insecure about themselves and suffering from low self-esteem."

Another factoid (law.jrank.org): "According to one study conducted by the National Institute of Justice, 8 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been stalked at some point in their lives; 1.4 million Americans are stalked each year."

Read more: Harassment - The Battered Woman - Stalking, Laws, Victims, Victim, Law, and Women http://law.jrank.org/pages/18631/Harassment.html#ixzz1BJPPUHV6

Take threats seriously. It's better to be safe than sorry.

How does time expand?

I was writing an email to a friend today, a friend who was lamenting the fact that her time seems to get filled and she's not working a regular 9 to 5 "job." I can soooo relate. It's like the old goldfish-in-the-bathtub adage: our activities will expand to fill the time (container) we have to hold them. It works the same way for my purse, I've noticed. I typically have found myself with a huge bag and hardly any stuff in it and then, before you know it, I've got a full-blown suitcase worth of stuff in it!

But what rubs me raw is when people think that being a Grad Student isn't "enough." Do you have a job, they ask? Well, no, not in the strict sense of "I work for blah blah blah and I do blah for them."

But am I a full-time mother -- not just in name but in action? YES!

Do I put all of what I have into my relationship with my fiance? YES!

Do I put all my academic prowess to work when I'm at school and/or when I'm working on schoolwork? YES!

(Really, at this point, I'm waiting for "Flo" from the Progressive commercial to come running at me with a pricing gun)...  But I digress. My Lasik Surgery Doctor, whom I saw today for a 9-month follow up appointment and learned that my vision is 20/15 *breathing on fingernails and rubbing them on chest* pontificated on the Grad School subject with me for a bit. We both wonder why people think that Grad School is just a cool thing you say -- and then, poof, someone hands us a degree. It's a LOT of hard work. And well worth it. Perhaps I shall focus on the gratitude I have for being here once more, because, that is what it's really about. Gratitude. And not caring too much what other people think.

If only my head didn't have a brain...

If it were possible for my head to explode, I'm sure it would've done it already, but darn-it-all, I'm really testing the limits of my brain's capacity for information.

Second day of the second quarter of Grad School, and you'd think I'd have this thing down by now but nope: I AM A NERVOUS WRECK ALREADY. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm blessed to be here because, by any stretch of the imagination, I should *not* be. Even. Here. Period. Given my history and background, I'm miles and miles away from where karma would've chosen I be. But I'm not. So, again I thank God and my friends and family who have supported and continue to support me, and take another step forward...