Monday, January 17, 2011

What does a stalker look like?

My experience:
A recent email I received from a former abuser prompted me to do some research. You see, this person wouldn't leave me alone and continued to violate my personal boundaries and my home until I called the authorities and they were able to deal with the situation themselves. This resolved the issue over a prolonged period, but sadly this is not always the case. Most women who call the police instead of ignoring the stalker and finding other ways to protect themselves (a la "The Gift of Fear" author's suggestions) end up dead.

"The stalker may attempt to woo their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy and love letters, in an attempt to "prove their love." However, when the victim spurns their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation." -- University of Tennessee at Chattanooga 
*[Click on the title for the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga's website]


Descriptive Statistics:
This prompted me to look up some information on what the common thread is among these people. I wish there was a more p.c. or a more descriptive name to call these people, as "stalker" just isn't heinous enough for me. The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga apparently has a Stalking Resource Center, something every community could benefit from. Following are some common traits among stalkers:
"Stalkers in this class [Simple Obsession} are characterized as individuals who are:
  • Socially maladjusted and inept
  • Emotionally immature
  • Often subject to feelings of powerlessness
  • Unable to succeed in relationships by socially-acceptable means
  • Jealous, bordering on paranoid
  • Extremely insecure about themselves and suffering from low self-esteem."
Another factoid (law.jrank.org): "According to one study conducted by the National Institute of Justice, 8 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been stalked at some point in their lives; 1.4 million Americans are stalked each year."


Take threats seriously. It's better to be safe than sorry.

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