Gaps in coverage - both on this blog and with insurance

I love double entendres. Only, this one's not meant to be risqué.

I was reviewing my blog entries, as I do from time to time. I noticed a *major* gap in coverage, so to speak. Meaning, I didn't post between the two dates below:

◘  7/20/12 to 10/12/15 -- *this is more than 3 years!

    ○ Reasons I believe this happened:

        ◙ I started my traineeship with a local non-profit as a volunteer therapist in March, 2012. I held this position while I completed school and my Master's Thesis.
        ◙ In July, 2012, I started working in earnest with my thesis advisor regarding collecting data for the thesis. This involved all the nitty gritty details of writing the informed consent document to University standards, establishing validity/reliability of the instruments being used to collect the data, and finding professors on campus willing to let me collect data during class times they were teaching.
        ◙ I began collecting data, analyzing it (hired a scoring sheet intern with my Thesis Advisor's help and entering the data into SPSS) and writing the thesis in earnest. I continued to edit (and revise, revise, revise) the overall content of the document with my Thesis Advisor's help and completed it in time for graduation. It was labor and time-intensive and took 5 quarters to complete. Thanks, Selby!
        ◙ I graduated with my M.S. in Psychology in June 2013, and became employed working with a co-occurring disorders program for clients with primary substance use disorder who also were diagnosed with a secondary mental health diagnosis.

I retained both that position and my volunteer position with the non-profit until June 2014, when I was hired on full-time as a permanent employee as the Coordinator of a forensic program (forensic = legally-involved clients) with mental health and substance use disorders (about 80% of the total caseload were co-occurring, as in, had both).

As Coordinator, I did a lot of duties. And, "other duties as assigned." ☺
        --In other words, I had a lot going on.-- This part just covered the career aspect of my life.

When my younger daughter became ill, the focus became her recovery. The disclosure of any and all information pertaining to my daughter's health issues is to encourage others to speak up, to gain and give support from and to others, and to have a venue in which I can find solace knowing that I am not alone.

In October 2015, as soon as I wrote again, the focus became advocacy, due to the hardships I have had, and others included, in what we dub "the system." While I'm grateful that the health care system exists, it is far too complicated to navigate and leaves considerable gaps in coverage that are not necessarily covered by supplemental programs (if the program exists or is accessible if one does exist).

When my daughter became so ill that it became *crystal clear* to me that I needed to take time off, it was time to take action by not only speaking up in "real life", but also expressing my concerns on this blog.

We continue to fight. Every day. We are going to the neurology consult at UCLA in March. There have been several agencies that by the Higher Power of the Universe (whatever you determine yours to be) have chosen to help us. For the roadblocks we have encountered, we will continue to challenge and will continue to do so until a solution is reached.

In the meantime, I am her primary support person, her mom, her coach, her reminder of her positive qualities, her reminder that this fight may not end, but we will remain strong, and perhaps help others as a result.

I can see by the numbers that people are accessing this blog (18,000+ views and growing), and that certain posts are viewed more than others (given the higher count next to the post). It seems as though the "hot button topic" posts are the ones that get the most attention. However, not many of you comment. I hope you start!

♥Won't you please help another person (or yourself) by simply commenting and stating a need, a solution, or simply venting?♥

I'm open to all these options.

We, and others, need to hear your voice now. Please.

My voice/opinions and such are growing old to me, and I need to be able help others with all the knowledge I've gathered over the many years I've accessed our "system".

I've been talking about these issues far longer than I've been writing on this blog about it. I need a fresh perspective, an angle I haven't tried. But, MOST OF ALL...

...Take care of yourselves and each other. We're all in this world together. ♥
     

Animals and Emotions

There's an animal in there, somewhere.

 

Oh, how I love ScienceDaily.com! Let me count the ways...

I was in a conversation last night where a friend of mine was explaining to me why a cat curls up next to a human. From what he said, I deduced the following: It's not because they're cold (they have fur) or they're bored (they like to chase nothing) or they're hungry (if you're not holding food, LOL), but it's because they want companionship. Who would've guessed! A cat or other animal seemingly has no object but to eat, sleep and... well, you get the picture. So, I decided to see if my favorite website had anything to say about the issue. Sure enough!

ScienceDaily.com has an article (for the actual article, click here: Science Daily article) where they talk about how animals use emotion to make decisions. According to the article, an animal's environment shapes the way the animal "feels" (negative or positive emotions) and that those emotions are reflected in the decisions the animal makes. So, if your cow is depressed or anxious because it is always in peril of being eaten by a coyote, it will tend to make interpretations of a stimulus (such as a bush moving) as a negative event -- mainly, that a predator is lurking in that bush.

It would seem from this article that anxiety and other negative emotions can affect animals in similar ways to humans. Humans don't tend to have a high quality of life if they are constantly on guard or depressed. Maybe your Fido or Fluffy could benefit from some positive emotions from you -- and maybe a little hug wouldn't hurt either.

HAVE YOU HUGGED YOUR PET TODAY?

How does time expand?

I was writing an email to a friend today, a friend who was lamenting the fact that her time seems to get filled and she's not working a regular 9 to 5 "job." I can soooo relate. It's like the old goldfish-in-the-bathtub adage: our activities will expand to fill the time (container) we have to hold them. It works the same way for my purse, I've noticed. I typically have found myself with a huge bag and hardly any stuff in it and then, before you know it, I've got a full-blown suitcase worth of stuff in it!

But what rubs me raw is when people think that being a Grad Student isn't "enough." Do you have a job, they ask? Well, no, not in the strict sense of "I work for blah blah blah and I do blah for them."

But am I a full-time mother -- not just in name but in action? YES!

Do I put all of what I have into my relationship with my fiance? YES!

Do I put all my academic prowess to work when I'm at school and/or when I'm working on schoolwork? YES!

(Really, at this point, I'm waiting for "Flo" from the Progressive commercial to come running at me with a pricing gun)...  But I digress. My Lasik Surgery Doctor, whom I saw today for a 9-month follow up appointment and learned that my vision is 20/15 *breathing on fingernails and rubbing them on chest* pontificated on the Grad School subject with me for a bit. We both wonder why people think that Grad School is just a cool thing you say -- and then, poof, someone hands us a degree. It's a LOT of hard work. And well worth it. Perhaps I shall focus on the gratitude I have for being here once more, because, that is what it's really about. Gratitude. And not caring too much what other people think.

Empathy means everything...

Click on the blog title and you'll see what I mean. The mayo clinic actually has a doctor who's "seen the light" as a result of writing his blog--apparently, all the comments from people who suffer from depression got through to him when he opened himself up to them. I say this because after nearly 10 years of being in the mental health treatment system, I just recently encountered my first doctor who took the time to say "This must be really hard for you."

Don't get me wrong -- being bipolar, recovering from addiction, and having been a victim of both childhood abuse and domestic violence has made me very grateful that I'm even able to get out of bed, much less be a candidate for graduate school. I'm aware that I'm not the only one who's gone through these things either. Also, I've had medical professionals involved in my treatment in the past who have taken the time to congratulate me on my "high functioning" (another term for fighting like hell every day). But I can't even put into words the meaning of having one medical professional, just ONE, getting down to my very human level to let me know that he knows it's difficult to go through what I go through every day just to get out of bed.

Unfortunately, I'm one of the people for whom medication has cut the edge, but not removed the symptoms. I still deal with anxiety, especially social anxiety. I also have difficulty concentrating (on a major level...what was I talking about? just kidding). I see my world in shades of gray rather than color -- if you're clinically depressed, then you'll know what I mean. I'm irritable to a fault. Thank goodness for understanding family and friends!

I also do not expect medication to be my "cure all." I get out in the world and interact with others, even when my paranoia's screaming that they're out to get me. I chat up the clerk at the store in order to get practice  conversing with others on days when I've holed up in my home. I call people when I don't want to (that's a big one for recovering addicts, according to my field research).

And I keep trying. I talk to my doctors and I'm open to medication changes even when I'm convinced this "new one" can't possibly make more of a difference than the 27 (yes, really) medications I've already tried. I have side effects that are all but expected at this point. I'm sensitive to medication and stress. But I keep trying. And that's the point.

Read the article attached to the blog title. Maybe you'll get inspired. Then, start talking about it. There's no point to suffering in pain. My heart goes out to all those who suffer with depression and other disorders.