What does a stalker look like?

My experience:
A recent email I received from a former abuser prompted me to do some research. You see, this person wouldn't leave me alone and continued to violate my personal boundaries and my home until I called the authorities and they were able to deal with the situation themselves. This resolved the issue over a prolonged period, but sadly this is not always the case. Most women who call the police instead of ignoring the stalker and finding other ways to protect themselves (a la "The Gift of Fear" author's suggestions) end up dead.

"The stalker may attempt to woo their victim into a relationship by sending flowers, candy and love letters, in an attempt to "prove their love." However, when the victim spurns their unwelcome advances, the stalker often turns to intimidation." -- University of Tennessee at Chattanooga 
*[Click on the title for the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga's website]


Descriptive Statistics:
This prompted me to look up some information on what the common thread is among these people. I wish there was a more p.c. or a more descriptive name to call these people, as "stalker" just isn't heinous enough for me. The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga apparently has a Stalking Resource Center, something every community could benefit from. Following are some common traits among stalkers:
"Stalkers in this class [Simple Obsession} are characterized as individuals who are:

• Socially maladjusted and inept
• Emotionally immature
• Often subject to feelings of powerlessness
• Unable to succeed in relationships by socially-acceptable means
• Jealous, bordering on paranoid
• Extremely insecure about themselves and suffering from low self-esteem."

Another factoid (law.jrank.org): "According to one study conducted by the National Institute of Justice, 8 percent of women and 2 percent of men have been stalked at some point in their lives; 1.4 million Americans are stalked each year."

Read more: Harassment - The Battered Woman - Stalking, Laws, Victims, Victim, Law, and Women http://law.jrank.org/pages/18631/Harassment.html#ixzz1BJPPUHV6

Take threats seriously. It's better to be safe than sorry.

How does time expand?

I was writing an email to a friend today, a friend who was lamenting the fact that her time seems to get filled and she's not working a regular 9 to 5 "job." I can soooo relate. It's like the old goldfish-in-the-bathtub adage: our activities will expand to fill the time (container) we have to hold them. It works the same way for my purse, I've noticed. I typically have found myself with a huge bag and hardly any stuff in it and then, before you know it, I've got a full-blown suitcase worth of stuff in it!

But what rubs me raw is when people think that being a Grad Student isn't "enough." Do you have a job, they ask? Well, no, not in the strict sense of "I work for blah blah blah and I do blah for them."

But am I a full-time mother -- not just in name but in action? YES!

Do I put all of what I have into my relationship with my fiance? YES!

Do I put all my academic prowess to work when I'm at school and/or when I'm working on schoolwork? YES!

(Really, at this point, I'm waiting for "Flo" from the Progressive commercial to come running at me with a pricing gun)...  But I digress. My Lasik Surgery Doctor, whom I saw today for a 9-month follow up appointment and learned that my vision is 20/15 *breathing on fingernails and rubbing them on chest* pontificated on the Grad School subject with me for a bit. We both wonder why people think that Grad School is just a cool thing you say -- and then, poof, someone hands us a degree. It's a LOT of hard work. And well worth it. Perhaps I shall focus on the gratitude I have for being here once more, because, that is what it's really about. Gratitude. And not caring too much what other people think.

If only my head didn't have a brain...

If it were possible for my head to explode, I'm sure it would've done it already, but darn-it-all, I'm really testing the limits of my brain's capacity for information.

Second day of the second quarter of Grad School, and you'd think I'd have this thing down by now but nope: I AM A NERVOUS WRECK ALREADY. Don't get me wrong. I know I'm blessed to be here because, by any stretch of the imagination, I should *not* be. Even. Here. Period. Given my history and background, I'm miles and miles away from where karma would've chosen I be. But I'm not. So, again I thank God and my friends and family who have supported and continue to support me, and take another step forward...