Helloooo...THESIS!

Alright. It's. About. Time. Time that I came up with a topic on which to do my Master's Thesis, that is. I find it extraordinarily interesting that I've stumbled into a Master's Program that has NO Thesis requirement to speak of, yet this overachiever had to take that option when it was given. I have two classmates who are doing one as well (So, ha! I'm not the only crazy one. Yes, "crazy" is a technical term.)

Onto the Thesis topic (it is spelled with a capital T because it's THAT dang important): The connection between perfectionism and substance use among college freshman. Particularly, I'd like to explore the differences between community college freshman and state university freshman. Call it a convenience sample if you must, but I think it's a topic that lends itself to studying college students, not non-college folk. Additionally, I'd like to point out that a community college has less stringent requirements for entry than a university does, so there may be a difference in perfectionism levels between the two types of students.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work in progress. Not only must I run this past one of my professors, but I also must get a Thesis committee together to undertake this task. It will take me some time to complete. Therefore, it -- the process and the Thesis itself -- will undergo numerous revisions and changes. I look forward to this. That's why I'm still in school.


So, here's the deal: I want your input! I'm getting weary of seeing that people truly are interested in my blog, but fail to comment on most of my entries. I'm wondering why this is? So, if you just want to comment on how I can get more comments on my blog, that's great! However, I'm really looking for input on the intricacies and such of my topic itself. So, comment away. Or, not. It's your choice. Enjoy reading!

Dead week? Where?

Dead week is, for reasons that remain unclear to me, the week before finals. They call it dead week because it's *supposed* to be the week where the campus remains free of most students who normally attend classes. That's NOT how it works here at CPSLO. In fact, the computer lab is packed with students. I can only imagine that their instructors did the same as mine and assigned papers and such to be due the week before finals.

I myself have not one, but TWO 12-page-or-so-give-or-take-5000-pages papers due this week; one is due on Thursday and the other is due on Friday... speaking of that, a computer just opened up in the lab. Gotta go!

Distracted, much?

To say that the 4th of July threw me off track is a complete understatement. Watching "Julie & Julia" has reminded me of the importance of my blog, no matter who is (or is not) reading it. After all, the internet immortalizes the least of us, and my goal is to leave in my wake links to the plethora resources that have enabled me to succeed in school.

Did I ever mention that I got into grad school? I'm still blown away, so forgive me if I have. Besides being off school and using it as time to research new and valuable resources and scholarships, I have been full-time single parent, whittling away at the month-plus days left of the summer. I just do my best to entertain. :-)

Not only that, but also the getting readiness of the upcoming quarter has been under way. I simply could not find the best desk for me after countless fruitless hours searching for one on the internet. Thus, my significant other has done his best to make my ideas for my very own custom-made desk come to fruition. God bless his creative little soul.

Anyways, my goal of "One scholarship each day for Monday through Friday of each week" has failed miserably. But the scholarships I have researched thus far are posted on here. And, when I get back on track, you will be the first to know. Have a great day!

Synonym for CRAZY, please?

I can now unequivocally state that I have been, or currently AM, the following :

absurd, amok, bananas, bats in the belfry, batty, bizarre, bonkers, cockamamie, crack-brained, cracked, crackpot, crazed, cuckoo, daffy, daft, decrepit, delirious, dementate, demented, deranged, desirous, dilapidated, distracted, dotty, eager, erratic, fanatical, flaky, foolish, frantic, gaga, goofy, harebrained, haywire, inane, infatuated, insane, loco, loony, lunatic, mad, maniac, meshuga, meshugga, nuts, preposterous, psycho, rickety, senseless, shaky, silly, strange, tottering, touched, unbalanced, wacky, weird (courtesy thesaurus.com -- another website I love)

(although, I don't know what "meshuga/meshugga" mean, I am sure that if it is anything like "bats in the belfry" then it's spot on!)

Should I explain why I haven't written a post in so long? Guess that's the point of this whole dealy-yo here called a blog, eh? Ok, here goes:

Started a research internship (in a lab, with a lot of numbers and letters -- for hours at a time -- staring at the stuff, typing it, writing it down, erasing it, analyzing the ca-ca out of it. Picture it. Then you'll know what I mean.)

THEN, three weeks later, started a 5-week class, on Memory and Cognition, no less. 'Kay, before you say "wah" to my dismay, let me explain.

A 5-week class is only offered in the summer (that must be when the people in charge take their vacations cuz I'm sure if they found out the amount of convoluted crazyness they try to shove in our brains in a short period of time, they'd be in disapproval).

A 5-week class takes all the information from a regularly timed 10-week, quarter long class, and smooshes (yes, that's a technical term -- my brain's mush, gimme a break) it into half the time, with nearly all the same assignments, but definitely covering all the material (if you take one with this instructor). He's a great instructor -- it's just that he's at a level of intelligence that should be illegal -- and I'm not diggin' it, at least not with an Ebbinghaus-style enthusiasm. I don't dive into it as readily as, say, abnormal psychology. That stuff is ooey-good (another technical term, thanks for asking).

Meanwhile, 2 weeks remain in this class, and I still have a 2-page paper, a 10-page paper (conducting an experiment) and editing for a 5-8 page paper for my internship. Oh yeah, that last paper is due tomorrow. Help me. Please.

This is all said with a touch of humor but a bucket of insanity. I don't think I should even be typing right now. I should be lying down... um ...like THAT'S gonna happen! I laugh in the face of adversity and challenge. I claim rights to an extraordinary Helper I choose to call God and pray for some relief to claim some time of my own in order to practice relaxing (that's where I try to pretend I know how and sit there in quiet reflection trying to read all the while my head's saying "Is this what I'm supposed to be doing right now?")

Assuming anyone's still reading this post, if you pray (and I highly recommend you learn how if you don't) pray, hard. My elder child is on a flight to Texas as I type. My younger is awaiting the train called "Mom's Limo Service" and I'm gonna hit the library for some non-school mental edibles before I begin my route.

HELP, I can't b-r-e-a-t-h.e.....

First week back at school with a full load this quarter. My anxiety is through the roof so I just thought I'd write about it to take the edge off.

Been praying -- a lot -- lately. It's not so much doing the work at school and at home that gets to me. It's the in-between times when I don't have anything to do that I well up with an overflow of anxiety that, if converted to food units, could feed an entire country it seems.

I want to eat my stomach right now, then maybe it will quiet down a bit. But rather than to disembowel self, I shall disengage. Time to leave campus and see what goeth on in the "real world."

My, oh my, whatever am I to do???

So, like, this school thing is really taking a toll on my social life... Just kidding -- actually, I really have to say that I am getting used to PRACTICING balancing my life out: school, kids, personal commitments (after all, I DO have to deal with me all day whilst I behave like a rabid bunny looking for victims; I seriously remind myself of the Tasmanian Devil sometimes.)

If there's anything I've learned from Cal Poly, it's this: you must PRIORITIZE. If I don't make time for schoolwork, I have no time for anything else because I'm too busy stressing myself out about my unfinished schoolwork to concentrate on anything else, much less enjoy myself. Even one of my kids is feeling the strain (I swear, words that should never come out of a kid's mouth: "I didn't have time to get it done." What's even more slave-driver-ish of me is that the statement keeps on being TRUE!!!)

So, back to the splinter-infested drawing board I go: let's take another whack at this thing called life...